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Did you hear about the boy who had to do a project on trains? He had to keep track of everything!

Which political discussions between the Russians and Americans keenly interest Burger Land citizens? The SALT talks!

Yo mama so old her birth certificate says expired on it.

What fish do road-menders use ? Pneumatic krill !

Why did Captain Kirk go into the ladies toilet ? To boldly go where no man has been before !

Where does the Internet football team play? Webley.

Q: How many absurdist/surrealist comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: November.

A silly boy spent the afternoon with some friends, but when the time came for him to leave, a terrific storm started with thunder, lightning and torrential rain. 'You can't go home in this,' said one of his friends, ' you'd better stay the night.' 'That's very kind of you,' said the boy. ' I'll just run home and get my pyjamas.'

Why did the piglets do badly in school? They were all slow loiners.

Q: What do you call a fake noodle? A: An Impasta.

What is the best way to hunt bear? With your clothes off

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A: Because the chicken wasn't invented yet.

How do you plant dope? Bury a blonde.

yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 seconds.

Lee was known among his friends for the punctuality with which he sent his wife her alimony payment each month. When he was asked the reason for his haste he shivered and replied: "I'm afraid that if I should ever fall behind in the payments to that witch, she might well try to repossess me."

A father, mother, and son were going to Europe and were going to visit the nude beaches while they were there. They didn't want the son to get a distorted view of beauty, so they told him that the men with really big dicks were really really dumb, and that the woman with really big tits were really really dumb. When they got to the beach they split up. Later the mother saw the son and asked where his dad was. The boy said, "Well, the last time I saw him he was talking to this really, really, really dumb blond, and the longer they talked the dumber he got."

What do confused owls say? Too-whit-to-why?

How did the world's tallest monster become short overnight? Someone stole all his money.

What Mrs. Dumpty gave Humpty?