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FIRST MONSTER: I fancy eating the city of Hong Kong tonight. Care to join me? SECOND MONSTER: No thanks, I can't stand Chinese food.

First monster: That pretty girl over there just rolled her eyes at me. Second monster: Well you'd better roll them back to her, she might need them.

What do you call a neurotic octopus? A crazy, mixed-up squid.

Why was the calf afraid? He was a cow-herd!

Knock Knock Who's there ! Benny ! Bennny who ? Benny thing happening !

What do most people do when they see a python ? They re-coil !

What's the best way to increase the size of your bank balance? Look at it through a magnifying glass.

A man wanted a new aardvark so he looked through the classified ads. He phoned a number he found and an elderly lady answered. "How much are your aardvarks?" he asked. "They're L6 each," came the reply. "Did you raise them yourself?" inquired the man. "Oh yes," she said, "Yesterday they were only L5 each."

Q: What do lead trumpet players use for birth control? A: Their personality.

Why don't dinosaurs take ballet lessons? They outgrew their leotards.

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