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There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Disco Barbie ...dressed in chiffon; inclbiudes disco ball
How do you address a monster? Very politely.
"The trouble is," said the entertainer to the psychiatrist, "that I can't sing, I can't dance, I can't tell jokes, I can't act, I can't play an instrument or juggle or do magic tricks or do anything!" "Then why don't you give up show business?" "I can't - I'm a star!"
Why does a mother carry her baby? The baby can't carry the mother.
My brother's a professional boxer. Heavyweight ? No, featherweight. He tickles his opponents to death !
Two men walked into a bar. You would think at least one of them would have ducked.
After the first takeoff of the fully automatic airplane, the passengers heard the soothing, reassuring voice of the pilot: "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your automatic pilot. In my modern and carefully tested sytem an error is absolutely impossible, absolutely impossible, absolutely impossible, ..."
Q: How do you know when a liberal is really dead? A: His heart stops bleeding.
Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player? Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.
Q: What did the blonde do when she got her period? A: Looked around for the bastard that must have shot her?