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Teacher: "Why do we have a Thanksgiving holiday?" Student: "So we know when to start Christmas shopping!"
What do lawyers do after they die? They lie still.
I've Been Bitten! by A. Flea
A doctor had been attending a rich old man for some time, but it became apparent that the old chap had not long to live. Accordingly, the doctor advised his wealthy patient to put his affairs in order. "Oh yes, I've done that," said the old gentleman. "I've only got to make a will. And do you know what I'm going to do with all my money? I'm going to leave it to the doctor who saves my life."
What is posthumous work ? Something written by someone after they are dead !
Noisy Nights by Constance Norah
How do you know that there's a monster in your bath? You can't get the shower curtain closed.
What do ghosts watch if they want to relax? Skelly-vision!
What's grey and never needs ironing ? A drip dry elephant !
How do nuns surf the web? On the Hymnternet.