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What's a dog favourite hobby ? Collecting fleas !
What does the dentist of the year get?...A little plaque.
Who has the best website in the jungle? The Onlion King.
What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a meal ? That hit the spots !
Who are the hamburgers favourite people? Vegetarians!
Yo mama so ugly The NHL banned her for life
What fish do road-menders use ? Pneumatic krill !
What do you call a man who cleans out toilets ? Lou !
At Parris Island, a sergeant was teaching a private to throw a grenade at a pracitice training course. He ran about 10 yards away to be safe, and yelled the instructions. "Pull the pin, throw and hit the dirt!" The private proceeds to do so, and throws the explosive directly at the sergeant! A few months later, the sergeant meets the private in a group of men killed in battle. He goes up the the private- no hard feelings because heaven is well, great- and asks him how he 'bit the dust.' Responds the private: "Well, i was caught in a ambush; these guys," He thumbs behind him. "got caught in the jeep under the fire. I managed to make it to a ditch where i yanked a grenade form my belt and pulled the pin and lever. The enemy runs away seeing it, so i put the grenade back onto my belt."
One day, a blonde and her friend were walking through the park. Suddenly, the blonde's friend said, "Oh, look, a dead birdie!" The blonde looked up and said, "Where?"