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What's the best way to catch a fish? Have someone throw it at you.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a boy scout? A boyscout who helps little old ladies hop across the street.
What would you get if you crossed a chicken with a dog? A hen that lays pooched eggs.
Q: What did the blonde do when she found out she was pregnant with triplets? A: She went looking for the three guys.
A priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven. St. Peter was at the Pearly gates waiting for them. 'Come with me', said St. Peter to the taxi driver. The taxi driver did as he was told and followed St. Peter to a mansion. It had anything you could imagine from a bowling alley to an olympic size pool. 'Wow, thank you', said the taxi driver. Next, St. Peter led the priest to a rugged old shack with a bunk bed and a little old television set. 'Wait, I think you are a little mixed up', said the priest. 'Shouldn't I be the one who gets the mansion? After all I was a priest, went to church every day, and preached God's word.' 'Yes, that's true. But during your sermons people slept. When the taxi driver drove, everyone prayed.'
Why did the nutty kid throw butter out of the window? He wanted to see a butterfly.
How did the aliens hurt the farmer? They trod on his corn.
Q: Why did the bank drive-up window teller have tire tread marks across the back of his grey suit? A: From crawling across the street when the sign said: "Don't Walk."
What do you call a frog who wants to be a cowboy? Hoppalong Cassidy.
What is a knight's favourite fish? A swordfish!