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Did you hear about the rookie Rhode Island cop who gave out twenty-two parking tickets before he found out he was at a drive-in movie?
How do writers send e-mail? On the Inkernet.
What is a mouse's favorite record ? 'Please cheese me' !
Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student? Because education pays off in the long run!
Why did Robin Hood steal from the rich ? Because the poor didn't have any !
A man trying to get on an overcrowded bus was pushed off by the people inside. There's no room,' they said. 'It's full up!' 'But you must let me on!' shouted the man. 'Why, what's so special about you?' they asked. I'm the driver,' replied the man.
MRS MONSTER TO MR MONSTER: Try to be nice to my mother when she visits us this weekend, dear. Fall down when she hits you.
Teacher: That's quite a cough you have there, what are you taking for it? Pupil: I don't know teacher. What will you give me?
Where does a vampire take a bath? In the bat-room (bathroom).
Why did the stupid racing car driver make ten pit stops during the Grand Prix? He was asking for directions.