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Q. What kind of ears do pumpers have? A. Engineers.

George went fishing, but at the end of the day he had not caught one fish. On the way back to camp, he stopped at a fish store. 'I want to buy three trout,' he said to the owner. 'But instead of putting them in a bag, throw them to me.' 'Why should I do that?' the owner asked. 'So I can tell everyone that I caught three fish!'

What do you call a pig that took a plane? Swine flu!

Why couldn't the skeleton go to the Christmas Party ? He had no body to go with !

your momma so stupid she got locked in a groceiry store and starved.

Teacher: Give me three reasons why the world is round Pupil: Well my dad says so, my mum says so and you say so !

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor.'" A small voice from the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher; she's still old, nasty, and wrinkled"

A schoolteacher was trying to teach her six-year old class students how to say the pledge of allegiance to the flag. The schoolteacher said, O.K. children begin by putting your hand over your little heart and repeat with me, I pledge allegiance to the HOLD IT! HOLD IT! Johnny, why is your hand over your butt cheek instead of your heart? Johnny relied! I can't. Teacher asks, why not? Well you see, when my ant comes over to pick me up and pats my bottom and says, BLESS YOUR LITTLE HEART!!!!!!

The criminal mastermind found one of his gang sawing the legs off his bed. "What are you doing that for?" demanded the crook boss. "Only doing what you ordered," said the stupid thug. "You told me to lie low for a bit!"

What kind of dog is a person's best friend? A palmatian!

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