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George knocked on the door of his friend's house. When his friend's mother answered he asked, 'can Albert come out to play?' 'No, said the mother, 'it's too cold.' 'Well, then,' said George, ' can his football come out to play ?'
Why is King Kong big and hairy? So you can tell him apart from a gooseberry.
What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A collie-flower !
Doctor, doctor, I'm having difficulty sleeping. Doctor: Well maybe it's your bed. Oh, I'm all right at night, it's in the day I have problems.
Q: Why is Bill Clinton diverting federal funds from improving schools to improving jails? A: Because when his term is through, he won't be going to school.
Following a bitter divorce a husband saw his wife at a party and sneered, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The wife simply sighed and replied, "Yes, dear, I know, but I was in love and didn't really notice."
Customer: Why is this sandwich half eaten? Waiter: I didn't have time to finish it.
A man with one watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.
Who designed Noah's ark? An ark-itect !
Q: How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto Maple Leafs? A: She fell out of the tree.