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Did you hear about the monster who sent his picture to a lonely hearts club? They sent it back saying they weren't that lonely!
Q: What happened when Bill Clinton got a shot of testosterone? A: He turned into Hillary!
Q: What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called? A: The man.
Knock Knock Who's there ! Austen ! Austen who ? Austen-tentatiously well off !
Do you know the 20th President of the United States ? No, we were never introduced !
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a laptop computer. You're just run down, let me give you some vitamins. No, thanks. But I could do with some new batteries.
How do you get a paper baby? Marry an old bag.
What does the N on the Nebraska football helmet stand for? "Nowledge."
Knock Knock Who's there ! Bert ! Bert who ? Bert the dinner !
An old drunk stumbles into a confessional. After not hearing anything for a while the Priest knocked on the wall. The drunk said forget it buddy there's no paper in here either.