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When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
How many nurses does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just have a nursing assistant do it. As much as the doctor orders.
Fade Away by Peter Out
Brother: Did you put the cat out ? Sister: Why, is it on fire ?
"A bloke walks into a pub, and asks for a pint of Adenosinetriphosphate. The barman says "That'll be 80p [ATP]!"
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
Yo mama so fat she wears a vcr as a beeper.
Knock Knock Who's there ! Badger ! Badger who ? Badger cookies !
"When you exit the bus, please be sure to lower your head and watch your step." "If you miss your step and hit your head, please lower your voice and watch your language. Thank you."
Which villains steal soap from the bath? Robber ducks.