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Why were the vets and pounds mad? It was raining cats and dogs
How did the obscene telephone caller get attacked by the Gorilla? He made a mistake and dialled a preyer!
Why are elephants wiser than chickens ? Have you ever heard of Kentucky Fried Elephant ?!
What did the man say when he got a big phone bill? "Who said talk is cheap?"
Lawyer: "Let me give you my honest opinion." Client: "No, no. I'm paying for professional advice."
Teacher: If you saw me standing by a witch, what fruit would it remind you of? Pupil: A pear.
Q: How do you get a blonde pregnant? A: Come in her shoes and let the flies do the rest.
Alsation: What is your favorite holiday? Chihuahua: Howloween!
How do you identify a bald eagle? All his feathers are combed over to one side.
Which vampire ate the three bears' porridge? Ghouldilocks.