Yo mama is missing a finger and can't count past nine.

Dont' Wake the Baby by Elsie Cries

How do you make an elephant sandwich? First of all, you get a very large loaf...

What do you get if you cross a chemical and a bicycle ? Bike carbonate of soda !

What wears a black, white, and tan coat but has no hair? A bald beagle!

"No, no, no!" said the enraged businessman to the persistent salesman. "I cannot see you today!" "That's fine," said the salesman, "I'm selling spectacles."

What do you call a vampire junkie? Count Drugula.

What is the Easter Bunny's favourite kind of story? A cotton tale!

What kind of company is a 24 hours hamburger joint? Fry-by-night!

It seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper. Upon being tested, the fellow couldn't walk a straight line any more than he could drive one, so the trooper wrote out a ticket and had just given it to the driver before an accident in the opposite lane took his attention to more important matters. The inebriated driver, figuring that the trooper wasn't coming back to him, drove home and went to bed. he was awakened in the morning by a knock at the door, created by two more state troopers. "Are you Mr. Johnson?" the asked? He admitted that he was. "Were you pulled over at Main Street last night for driving under the influence?" Again, the man admitted that was he. "And what did you do then," the troopers asked." The man replied that he drove his car home and went to bed. "Where is your car now?" the t roopers enquired. The man answered that it was in the garage. "May we see the car?" asked the troopers. The man answered, "Sure," and opened the garage. Inside the garage was the state troopers car.